Sensory Deprivation Notes

Float Date: March 10, 2017 7:00pm-8:00pm

Without having a watch all times are assumed.

  • I entered very excited and expected way too much
  • First quarter of the time in was spent frustrated and waiting
  • Felt relaxed however muscles were tight from workout, a stretch prior would've been good
  • Spent time playing with position and stretching
  • Continued frustration that experience wasn't enhanced in any way
  • Began focusing on breath, and was slightly annoyed by hearing it
  • Continued focus on breath and mind, erasing all thoughts
  • Felt my consciousness separate from my body, began to view body as simply a vessel
  • Began to think of death and realize how close death is to us at all times
  • Explore idea that with no sight, no touch, and no sound I am as close to experiencing death while being alive
  • Explore the possibility that after the body dies the spirit does not continue on, and the experience of life is truly over, and repeat this idea to myself
  • Begin to slip into a lucid dream state

Dreams

  • While laying in the tank a piece of artwork that I've created appears from underneath the water and in a wave like fashion crashes into me
    • Attempt to re-create experience, does not happen
  • Continue dream state, while floating in tank the room has turned into a grey animal fur, I reach my right hand out and touch the fur I look to my left and there is a giant goat head looking at me, it opens it's mouth and quickly swallows me, this is repeated 2-3 more times, the goat smiles at me
    • Attempt to force experiences to happen, does not happen
  • I am at a gate, gate opens, and I flow through it
  • I am now floating down a river in a dark cave, I hear the sounds of water dripping from the ceiling near and far, I reach the end of the river, I am slightly afraid of what this experience may be, a devil hand reaches out and touches my left shoulder, pushes me back into the flow of the water, I do not want this experience to become negative, I begin hearing voices say "It's ok, we're here." 
  • I come to, and I am fully awake, I attempt to go back into dream state, but quickly realize it's over.

Up River "I.T.I.A.G.T.I.J.M.C."

In 2013 I was on tour in Europe which is where I met Harry Huntington, vocalist for Up River. I was enthralled by their set and immediately knew that we were on the same page. The intensity. The exhaustion. The power of the music. We remained in touch ever since and in the fall of 2015  Harry contacted me about doing the art for their upcoming EP. I immediately signed on as this project was going to mean more than others in the past. 

On November 25, 2015 (the day before Thanksgiving) our beloved dog, Royce, became spooked as I was carrying folding chairs inside that banged together. He slipped out the door in a fury. I attempted to not panic and set the chairs down as my fiancé yelled for him. I remember saying "it's ok" in an attempt to keep my fiancé calm. I run out only to see him sprinting out of fear. Royce was running directly towards the road we lived on, which at this time was filled with cars flying up and down. I ran after him as hard as my body allowed however I was no where near him. Screaming his name. The closer he came towards the road his name turned into me saying "no, please no." My body at this point was completely exhausted and I had nothing left. Royce runs into the road and some how miraculously made it to the other side. A glimmer of hope. I screamed at the people in the parking lot across the street to stop him, however there was nothing they could do as he was still in a state of fright. Still I thought to myself "it's ok, just stay over there, just stay over there." Royce began to turn. He came back towards the road. All the fear that had just been lifted immediately returned. Royce did not make it across the road.

This experience was like none I had ever lived through. I have lost family members but why is something like this so unbearably painful? I come into all situations with an understanding that it must end however the emotional effect it can have on you can make it seem as if you weren't ready at all. I came into creating this record with these thoughts on my mind. Originally we were set on creating something abstract however we ended with what is for me a proper tribute artistically to Royce and the experience that we went through.

I did not intend for this blog post to be as nearly as intense as it became however this is the circumstances to which I was under when this was created. Thanks for looking.

-Alex Miracle

Royce and I

Royce and I

Hand used for album cover.

Hand used for album cover.

During a break from working on this project I found these sticks and dead flowers which were used throughout the project.

During a break from working on this project I found these sticks and dead flowers which were used throughout the project.